March 2010
6 posts
miller high life!
the champagne of beers! champagne must suck…i wouldnt know…
fuck my life....
…it feels like im doing something fundamentally wrong in life and its the root cause of my unhappiness…i cant quite put my finger on it…or even muster the effort to figure out what it is…
...i sent this to my ex...good stuff...
to be honest…i think that if i called, you wouldnt talk to me…part of me thinks that you’ll ignore this message or delete it without reading it…that makes me sad…i know when we talk i rarely say anything of substance…i apologize…its hard for me to talk about how i feel, especially sober…i know it’s pathetic…i’ve been working on...
...i've moved to the ghetto...
…and im starting to understand my neighbors…they are a people of volume…blaring music, raised voices, unreasonably short tempers. quite my polar opposite. quick to confrontation or an easy escape. these people are consumed by emotion. if it feels good or will get u outside ur head, do it. fuck it. smoke it. drink it. snort it. shoot it. with blind fervor and somehow, apathy....
...the hurt locker...
…was fucking retarded…except for the visual part…it looked exactly like iraq…everything else…retarded…two thumbs down…ridiculous…the end…
...so...i just looked into the mirror...
…for a lot longer than usual…and a lot closer than usual…to the point where i could see my reflection in my pupil…i know i drank a bottle of jack by myself…but there is still something that can be salvaged from this…i looked intently…my face twitched involuntarily…bloodshot and swollen…i’m allergic to mass quantities of booze…was it...
February 2010
6 posts
...so...for my college career planning class...
we did an exercise where u had to pick who lives or dies…the worksheet gave a brief synopsis of peoples lives and u had to pick which ones got treatment and which bit it…i have strange attitudes about death that only apply to myself and a few others…if u speak another language and have a different culture which i precieve to be wrong i have no qualms about killing u…if...
...so...i got really drunk and for valentines...
…i put an ad on craigslist…it read as follows:(headline)…so for valentine’s day…23…kpr…(body)margaritas and a romantic movie at my place? lemme know…pic for pic…
Lol…I got a single response that wasn’t spam…she sent a reply and i gave her my number…we texted for a few hours…exchanged pics…she was actually...
Flo?
Does no one identify with me? Cuz I’m fairly disappointed…
Flo from Progressive insurance
Why is she so effin hott?! If she did a shoot for Maxim I would totally buy it…and use it…
Wisdom from a forgoten age
My buddies dad said something profound at outbacks today. “I feel sorry for u guys. Fat chicks outnumber decent girls 2 to 1 theese days” and it’s true. I have a six pack and I can’t seem to land anything reasonable. Am I just that socially retarded or is it an epidemic?
I love Coheed & Cambria
Obeese falsetto. It’s such an oxymoron it should be illegal!
January 2010
13 posts
....if you were to meet me...
…you would get one of two impressions…an on edge anti social crazy who looks evil and might kill someone soon….or a mellow cow eyed dolt who makes stabs at wit with an underdeveloped sense of intelligence…either way is fairly accurate….
...incompetence...
Thank god I can’t figure out how to reply to shit on craigslist…it’s unreasonably difficult…and it’s probly a good thing health wise…
...well before I move on...
…to south America (I hear crazy things) or where ever the fuck The Great Magnet pulls me, I wanna master a few things…A. Game… Let’s face it, I have zero… And 2. The ability to recognize, capture and retell aweinspiring and valuable stories in an accessible and captivating manner…well all that and some form of effective unarmed self defense, cuz I’ll...
...I'm starting to feel the Fear...
…The Rubber Sack…it’s coming down over my head..it’s suffocating…I’m scared of what’s in There…a ravenous coyote ready to pounce viscuosly on my face?…I’m fantasizing about steps to more permanence…I hate America, but America loves me… The urge to flee is overwhelming…I wanna learn Mexican Spanish to the point where...
...it's a fine line that I walk...
…I become fairly social after my fifth or sixth drink…but one more notch up and I begin to ask invasive questions and make embarassing statements and get hyper excited about the prospect of going to dennys or Jack in the box…so please…can you tell me about the ugliest girl you fucked?! I’m wearing silk boxers just in case I get the opportunity to top that!! I want a...
...so my math teacher is unbarebly hott...
…she’s fairly young but it looks like she wears sweaters she knitted herself…she has a nerdy/sweetheart personality…she’s rail thin with those subtle curves that really get under my skin…she looks vaguley columbian…I spend more time in her class thinking about going down on her than whatever the fucks on the chalkboard…she scans the room checking for...
I downloaded the tumblr app...
…on my iPhone and bought a novelty size bottle of Jack…expect some more posts…
This prolonged involuntary abstinence is...
…driving me to the edge of insanity…I’ll be taking a dive off the edge here soon…and by dive I mean fucking a fat/ugly slash and or spoken for chick…I already despise myself…bwahahaha! Maybe
not. Maybe I’ll spin this into a career in religion or write a self improvement book…lol…not likely…
Cops...
…is a damn fine show…who doesn’t wanna be a subtly condesending(?) dick to those that are truly beneath you…
...i'm trying to write from my soul, but...
…i’m a a poor, male minority…i now thats a piss poor excuse for absolutely anything…i’m trying tho…
...LOL...art appreciation...
…is essentially articulating on things i don’t really give a shit about…
...so...i started going to college....
…my day mainly consists of trying really hard not to space out and/or fart…
this is square one...
…this is ground zero…why is it so scary to me?..it’s the opportunity for something better than i’ve ever had…and yet i hesitate…hesitation will get you killed…
December 2009
11 posts
so...i started taking a beer into the shower...
…as well as chewing tobacco…and porn on my iphone…it’s like a 20 minute vacation everyday…
blah blah blah!...and now a story involving...
so…i know i’ve said i haven’t been laid in 18 months…true story…but there have been close calls…here’s another…i’d been living in my buddy jimmy’s apartment by myself for a week as a free man. he had just went out of town to visit his in-laws…1 pm rolls around and i get a text…dude come down to the big i’s…a...
drunk diction
leaving captain nemo a voicemail: v. to puke into a toilet
if you greet some one with "hey douchebag!"
then you are, in fact, yourself, a douchebag…it’s science…you can’t argue with science…
shady business...
so…my buddy dan was coming over to knock back some brews and he calls me prior to our engagement.
dan:hey meat heads’ sister and ex wanna drink? should i bring them?
me:…um…chyessss!…
dan:you know meat head would be wicked pissed right?
me:…um…chyesss!…
meat heads sister+ex=hott…meat heads is a great friend…but his sister secretly...
adultery...?
so…i almost messed around with this married chick…i know that sounds bad because it is. lemme start from the top. my roommate invited me to watch a movie with his fuckbuddys’ sister, like a double/blind date type deal. initially i thought that she didn’t like me. cold shoulder/non talkative. it was akward to put it litely. *note at this point all i know about her is that...
Trigger Hippie
““take two guys. tell them to get somewhere. one books it as hard as he can...”
– sgt g
down time...
so…i’ve been unemployed lately. i’ve had some lag time between the military and going to college. supposedly the military has given me the discipline, drive and direction that i was lacking before i did my time. lawl. i’ve done absolutely nothing for two months except drink. usually in front of the TV with my roommate and whatever girl he has over for that nite of the...
